


Curiosity Killed the Cat

by imperialMachine



Category: Solar Opposites
Genre: Angst, Enemies to Lovers, Insanity, M/M, Romance, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:46:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28274811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imperialMachine/pseuds/imperialMachine
Summary: Korvo never did come back, at least not the same as he was. Terry doesn’t know how many times he sat in his office, listening to Korvo’s voice, how he was before his last moments, before he became a shell of a man.
Relationships: Korvo/Terry (Solar Opposites)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 14





	Curiosity Killed the Cat

Your name is Korvo. At least, that’s what they told you, the men with the white long jackets. They watch you like an animal being put on display in a cage, but that’s not what you are. It’s certainly what they make you feel like. You don’t know what you are. Much of your memory is blank, as if you’ve only just existed a few minutes ago, or an hour, you don’t know. In fact, you always seem to lose touch with reality, even forgetting your name sometimes.

These men in white put you in a cage, observing you with their boards in hand followed with a tight grip of a pen. They would feed you, force you into those so-called showers, like it’s a religion you must take on, but you know it’s fake. These men would hold pictures in your face and tell you to tell them what you see. You see colors and lines but you could never put your finger on what they actually were. There was a block and you didn’t know it. 

In your sleep, you knew those men were out there watching you outside of your cage. Every night, you’d turn away from them as they’d loom over like a cursed shadow, mocking, laughing, never taking their eyes away from you for one moment. All you were to them is an animal. Sometimes, you think they’d kill you in your sleep which would scare you to the point of insomnia, and this would happen for days until they’d force you to take pills to sleep. Poison. They fed you poison. 

Then you’d sleep. You don’t know how long you’d sleep for. Everyday in the facility they kept you in was day, never nights. The dreams that came with your sleep were worse than the people in white. It starts off with a ‘goodbye’ from a face you can’t recognize and you walk through a giant black wall, where the blackness took form and terrorized you. They whispered nonsense in your ear, some loud and some were quiet. It forced you on your knees as it entered your body through your orifices and ate you from the inside. The dream forced blood curdling screams out of you as the men in white had to restrain you. Then it would be quiet again. 

The limb body lays where the men last left you on the cold metal of the platform that was your bed. You’d watch them leave as you blink the blurry away until it became dark again.

The humming of a machine kept you company as they strapped you down to a bed while they put a helmet on your head and wires to your chest. It doesn’t hurt but it certainly scares you enough to cause irregular heartbeats and strikes in brain activity. They would sigh, saying something about you feeling scared. They resorted to knocking you out again with pills and shots to the neck. And you were out like a light. 

The dreams would come back again. This time you were in space without a suit and the void held you in its arms, it filled your head with warnings of the unseen, it warned you not to go back, it wanted to keep you there. The rope attached to you detaches as it pulls you deeper into the abyss. The loud incoherent voices no longer phased you as it filled your head with promises of better things and you imagined what those things were. A face pops into your head, a familiar smile, a gentle caress of the hand. You didn’t know who this person was, but he made your heart skip when you thought of this stranger. Was he the better thing that the void promised? Something pulled you out and you were on a hard surface, covered in slime. The people gathered around you were deformed piles of colorful meat with eyes that bulge out of their deformed heads.

The soreness in your throat arrives as the screams rise again. You opened your eyes to find that you’re not in your cage. The trepidation begins to show up again. Usually this procedure ended with you waking up in your home, but this isn’t your home and you’d go about getting lost in your confused mind. This was a different room, where there was no metal or the color white, or men in white. There was a purple vase with flowers in them and dust on the shelves of the office, as if no one had been taking care of their things. You take a gander around at the objects you’ve never seen before, a shiny thing on the desk that looks like it’s used to write on paper, a wooden plaque lined with gold on the wall, the blankets for windows in the shade of yellow. The light in the room didn’t hurt your eyes like it always did in the facility. In fact, it was darker here. 

“Korvo.” The voice caught your attention. It was the only sound in the room and you noticed how it slightly made an echo. Was that supposed to be you?

The man wasn’t wearing white, instead it was a beige. He didn’t look as serious as the other men who took care of you in that cage. He had a small smile on his face as his hands rested on the desk, one over the other. You liked that look. That smile. You attempted to do that same but it just looks like you’re being weird.

His smile grew wider as he watched you attempt a smile. “I talked with the head of the directives. Because your conditions have gotten better, they’re leaving you in my care.” His voice was soft as if he was scared to speak any louder to startle you. You’ve had your fair share of loud noises coming from your head, but you accepted his consideration. 

You wanted to say something, something that’ll make you sound smart, something that’ll woo him. You say, “pretty man, I’ll kill the gods for you!” You wanted to punch yourself. Now he’ll think you’re an idiot. 

He doesn’t look at you strangely or frown, instead he giggles, scratching his cheek with a cheeky grin. “Oh, Korvo, you always have such a way with words.”

* * *

The static of the tape sings in disharmony as it scratches from its wake. 

T: Let’s begin the procedure with a few questions. What is your name? 

K: I’m Korvotron. I’m the first test subject for Project 0023-453z and I’m- 

T: Korvo, I didn’t get to that part yet. 

K: I already know what you’re going to ask. I made up the questions. 

The tape cuts out and is met with static silence. 

T: Okay, let’s start again. What is your name?

K: I’m Korvo.

T: Korvotron.

K: Does it matter?

It cuts again.

T: What is your name?

K: Terry, you asked me that about forty times already. 

T: Because you keep messing up.

K: Sorry, I’m just… nervous. 

T: Hey, you wanted this. 

K: Scolding me isn’t helping.

The tape cuts again.

K: My name is Korvotron.

T: What are you going to do?

K: I’m going to enter a portal through means of dark matter to find the other universe that sent it to us. 

T:... Perfect.

The tape was expected to cut, but it keeps rolling.

T: Korvo, you don’t have to do this. You don’t even know what’s in it, you don’t even know if there’s another side to it. You looked in it, we all did. There’s nothing.

K: … I still have to do this, for all of us. We need to know why it showed up. You know that.

T: I know. I’m just… please come back safely. 

The tape cuts right there. 

Korvo never did come back, at least not the same as he was. Terry doesn’t know how many times he sat in his office, listening to Korvo’s voice, how he was before his last moments, before he became a shell of a man. He blamed himself a thousand times over for letting Korvo sacrifice himself for the team and the future of Shlorp. He wondered what if it was him instead, what if he was the one who went in instead of Korvo. Terry didn’t hold nearly as much power as Korvo did, he was basically one of the leaders now, having been seated with the elder Shlorpians in the official office. Why didn’t he go instead? 

That wasn’t the worst part of his guilt. The other part he fails to mention or think about was what happened after they pulled him out of that portal. Korvo spent months in the hospital as the doctors pulled that black leviathan out from his insides along with the rest of the gunk that found its way into Korvo’s body. Terry didn’t have a weak stomach but what came out of him and what the doctors did to subdue the monster wasn’t pretty. It haunted him for months just seeing it. It made seeing Korvo that much harder. What ever demon that was succeeded in having Terry burn out his eyes. No amount of therapy would rid the image of that _thing_ . And it was _inside_ of Korvo. He came out looking possessed by the supernatural. If this were a TV show, then it wouldn’t have been that bad. In fact Terry would’ve watched the show, but this was real. 

The monster died shortly after being killed by the scientists but the doctors wanted to be sure that it’s dead-dead, so they burnt it and threw the container that the creature was in back into the void. It disappeared into the darkness. 

Terry couldn’t face seeing Korvo in a comatose state, his skin ashened with blackened lips and hollowed eyes. He resembled a corpse. Fortunately, his heart was still beating and his brain was still active, he was very much alive. Terry couldn’t stay in the same room as him for more than five minutes for fear that the monster would show up and turn him into what Korvo was. Everytime Terry stood outside of Korvo’s room, bracing himself for a visit, he’d imagine the sound of the machines going off as it detects Korvo’s last breath. He’d imagine the funeral, being unable to watch Korvo get pricked away by birds, insects, or whatever scavengers there were. He would go back into his apartment and get rid of Korvo’s belongings, then he would die with them too. 

But Korvo was still there, still alone in that room. 

Because of Korvo’s attempt at going off into the void, Terry was in charge of the paperwork that came with it and since Korvo isn’t awake to speak of what he saw, he couldn’t report to the officials with definite answers. In a way, he thinks they blame him too. 

Terry never went home after the incident because his home was in the hospital, holding on to dear life. He would indulge in some overwork with a side of coffee and come up with more ways to think of a beautifully planned suicide if Korvo died, make it seem like an accident if it came down to it. He knows he shouldn’t be thinking about that, but what else did he have to lose. Whatever was in the portal wasn’t from a universe where they wanted to shake hands and make friends. They sent a monster kept in a box, and to the curiosity of anyone who encountered it would inevitably fall into the trap of whatever was inside. And it _had_ to be Korvo. If he had known this would happen, Terry would’ve done something worse than divorce him. He’d kidnap Korvo and run away to some far-off land to keep him from killing himself with this black box of evil. That wouldn’t stop him though. As much as Terry could dream to take him away from science, he couldn’t. Korvo lived it- breathed it, and Terry would always be in second place. 

Part of the grief was his silence about it. As a colleague, of course, he was worried for Korvo, but as his lover, he was devastated. They never told anybody about their get-together. How it happened… depends on who’s telling the story. For Terry, he was a freshman in college and Korvo had already graduated at the time, being the youngest to ever finish in advanced studies of science and engineering. Korvo was already well off because of how insanely smart he was and was rewarded by the school’s officials with loads of cash and any occupation he wanted. Instead of the practical business approach where one would invent ‘practical’ things for the ‘good of society’, Korvo chose the Shlorpian Hypothetico Independent Tech, in other words, S.H.I.T. He liked things that didn’t exist and wanted to make them exist, that’s how Terry saw it. And he liked that about Korvo. Korvo began to prove fictional science with complex equations of things that were never even thought of before, and it made a name for him. Terry had always known of Korvo’s existence, who didn’t talk about the guy? Whether it was out of jealousy or admiration, nobody could shut up about him. For Terry, he wasn’t an admirer, nor was he jealous. He thought Korvo was a know-it-all, a kiss-ass, and a straight up dick. That’s how it started. 

_Nobody is ever smart without some form of cheating their way to the top_. Now that he thinks about it, the reason Terry didn’t like Korvo at first was because of the people he hung around with who would constantly talk down about him. None of them knew him personally, and neither did Terry. 

A few years went by and Terry found himself in the opposing association as Korvo. They were much nicer during his job interview, which won Terry over. Just when Korvo rose to the top of his association, Terry rose in his. Then, that portal showed up seemingly out of nowhere. It first showed up in the desert, then teleported in the ocean where it proceeded to drain the First Ocean. This was a topic of discussion because nobody knew where it came or who made it. Some had theorized that it came from the future, but that theory was soon debunked because the Retrace-Your-Step-ilizer didn’t allow for objects to be left in the past. Korvo was the first to get his hands on the portal, but when he got it, the portal disappeared. For a long time, the portal seemed like an urban legend and people started to forget that it ever existed, until it showed up again. This time the portal stayed. Once again, Korvo got hold of it, but he was stuck in a rut. He didn’t know the science. As a desperate attempt to understand this foreign object, S.H.I.T had to call in the rest of the other, less important, group of nerds. And this was how Terry and Korvo met. 

Actually, they met when Korvo bumped into Terry and spilled coffee on his jacket on the first day he worked at S.H.I.T. Because they were both the smartest of their respective association, they were forced to work together. They didn’t get along very well. Terry didn’t like how anal Korvo was- for lack of a better word, he was a tight-ass. And Korvo didn’t like how unorganized, how vulgar and obnoxious Terry was while working in the field. He lacked the professionalism that Korvo expected from the opposing association’s head directive. They would go at each other very often, to the point where they’d get nothing done with the amount of disagreements that went on between them. They were hot and cold, black and white, sharp and dull. Their bosses had instructed them to at least get along while they figured what the portal was for, or else they’d lose their positions as top ranked. Terry didn’t care about his rank. Korvo, on the other hand, cared too much. And so, they forced themselves to at least be able to talk like regular adults. 

It worked for the time being. There were many times Terry just wanted to punch the shit out of Korvo. They didn’t shout, but Terry still told Korvo what he wanted to do to him, how he wanted to drop kick him off of the tallest building on Shlorp. Korvo retorted with, “I’d strap you to the next space cargo and have your body burn from exposure to radiation.” They were still being adults. 

These threats kept continuing until one day it became literal. After being fed up with Korvo’s asshole behavior, Terry left the lab. For the whole day, he was gone and Korvo did the work alone in peace, without Terry mocking him or suggesting another way they’d solve this problem. When it was time to leave, Korvo found his ride totally trashed with the code to car recalibrated and he couldn’t get in. Terry drives by, rolling down his window. “Looks like some asshole trashed your car. I wonder who could’ve done something like that.” His voice was sarcastic, his smile was malicious and he didn’t hide the fact that it was him who did it. He drove off, leaving Korvo out in the night alone. 

The next day Korvo showed up to work late. It wasn’t because his car was fucked, but because he went to Terry’s car without his knowledge and pulled out the engine. The engines to the cars were powered by this box that’s wired to the cars and Korvo stole Terry’s. Korvo had gone to a nearby hotel and tossed the engine in a closed pool. Terry didn’t find out about this until later after work and Korvo drove by to mock Terry with his missing engine. “Korvo, you son of a bitch!” He hit at Korvo’s window while he stuck an offensive finger in Terry’s direction and drove off. 

The shenanigans would go on for months. It only stopped when their boss walked in on them in the break room covered in coffee and various snacks they had previously thrown at each other. The cabinets were off the hinges and the table was broken too. The boss yelled at both of them and confiscated their ranks. Korvo was heartbroken. Terry laughed at his idiocy. They both left the building with dirty clothes and bruises on their bodies. Korvo’s new car was falling apart from Terry unscrewing the metal pieces while Terry’s car was lazered in half with a powered lazer. They had no choice but to walk home again, and in turn, they found themselves at a meeting point in front of the building. Korvo stayed silent, disappointed, shameful, and angry about his rank being taken from him. Terry was silent because he was still angry at Korvo for hitting him with the leg of the table earlier.

They walked beside each other to the apartment complex, too angry to think, too angry to realize they were walking in the same direction. Things were bitter. When they got to the apartment place, Korvo crossed the street to his apartment and Terry stayed on the same street. He watched Korvo walk into the front doors of the apartment across the street. He didn’t know Korvo lived this close to him. This would be a perfect plan for more revenge. 

The next day, Korvo was quiet. After losing his rank, he and Terry couldn’t work on the portal. That privilege was given to someone else who was more worthy of discovering its secrets. Korvo sat in his cubicle office grumbling curses and insults as he gave Terry death stares from across the walk space. It didn’t help that their new offices were right next to each other and Terry could hear every little affront Korvo was spewing at him, plus he could see the stares Korvo was giving him in his peripherals. “Why don’t you just take a picture, Korvo?” Terry said, turning to look at him, who was grinding his teeth and fuming from his presence. “It’ll last longer.”

“It’s all your fault!” Korvo articulated his words. 

“If it was my fault, then why did your rank get taken?” Terry narrowed his eyes, turning in his swivel chair. 

“That was your fault too!” 

“Oh, yeah, blame everything on me, like you always do. Have you ever stopped to take your head out of your own ass and consider that _maybe_ you’re at fault here?” 

“No, because it’s _your_ fault.” Korvo grumbles.

“Keep repeating the same thing, asshat. It’s not gonna make it true.” Terry turned his chair to face away from Korvo. 

“God, I _wanna_ kill you.” 

“If you do,” Terry dramatically turns for a second to make eye contact with Korvo. “Then you would’ve done it by now.” 

Korvo wanted to rush over and choke Terry to death but it would risk losing his job, or that’s what Terry thought. They stayed at the cubicle, throwing insults at each other until they would tire themselves out. Korvo left and came back with a cup of coffee. Terry was lounging his seat, stretching his legs as he did so. It made Korvo’s eye twitch from how unprofessional Terry was being. Almost everything Terry did ticked Korvo off. He made a noise of disapproval and Terry would tell him to, “shut up, you’re ruining my train of thought.” 

Just when the days couldn’t get any better, Korvo realized an error with one of the documents. Terry went to go take a look and realized he was right, the math was all wrong. With this error, they realized that the equations only made sense if they were backwards. They redid the process but this time wrote it backwards. The formula was for dark matter. The portal was made of dark matter. 

With this newfound discovery, they showed it to their bosses and everyone rejoiced. The long hours of trying to discover something about this portal was finally into light. Korvo and Terry were rewarded their ranks back for this outstanding discovery. As a celebration, the employees wanted to go to the local bar. As the building was emptying out, Korvo and Terry were the only ones left. Korvo wanted to stay and keep working. Terry wanted to leave, but something told him that he shouldn’t. He placed a hand over Korvo’s paperwork. “We did great. The least you could do is celebrate. We’ve earned this.”

“There’s no room for celebration.” That wasn’t true. Korvo wasn’t much of a people person, Terry eventually knew that about him. “I have to keep working.”

“You’re no fun.”

“ _You’re_ immature. I only have fun with adult things.”

“Yeah, and drinking is an adult thing. So, come on.”

Korvo stares up at Terry, a grimace painted on his face. “Get your hand off of the papers.”

Terry leaned his head in closer. “Make me.” 

Korvo shot up from his chair and tackled Terry to the floor as the papers behind him fell. He threw a punch to his face while Terry hit him back. The fight was like two children fighting over a nonsensical thing, and they were like children. They punched, kicked, elbowed, scratched until they were too tired to even stand. Korvo could feel a black eye threaten to form on his face when Terry punched him earlier. Their fight had lasted about eighteen minutes. Eighteen minutes of yelling, grunting, insults and painful gabs. They laid on the floor on top of the paperwork, now scattered all over the place. Terry had organized them at the request of Korvo’s bitch ass, and now it’s ruined. They huffed and panted, feeling the pain in their body and on their faces. “I… hate… you.” Terry was the first one to say. 

“I hate you more.” Korvo says back. 

The sound of the soft air conditioning fills the air in the room. “You wanna get those drinks now?”

“...Yeah.”

Before they left the place, they cleaned the papers off of the floor and stacked them somewhere. Instead of going to the bar that the rest of the employees went to, they went to a different bar. They didn’t want their boss to find out they were rough housing again. 

The two men ordered drinks while putting ice packs on their faces. The customers at the bar looked at them funny while they sipped away at their drinks and felt the adrenaline wear off as the pain begins to grow in their bodies. “I don’t understand you, Korvo. Why are you so stubborn?” Terry asked, without looking at him. 

“I’m not stubborn. I am ambitious.” Korvo corrected. “And I couldn’t care less about your understanding of me.”

“Ambition gets you killed.” Terry took another drink of his liquor. 

Korvo looked at the cup again, hesitant to drink but did so anyway. He makes a face at the bad taste. “Eugh.”

“You’re not a drinker?” Terry smirked at Korvo’s inexperience, amused that there was something that he wasn’t good at. 

“I drink.” Korvo retorted. “Just not this.” He felt the warmth starting to develop in the pit of his stomach as the pain in his face and on his body numbed with the intoxication. 

Terry didn’t remember much of that night with Korvo. There were a few things that surfaced from the depths of forgotten memory, one of which was Korvo and him going to a karaoke and hearing Korvo’s god awful singing. He remembered making fun of him for it and Korvo would bash him with insults like he always did. This time Terry wasn’t mad at Korvo for the insensitivity, this time Terry laughed, and for the first time he saw Korvo laugh too. He just wished he wasn’t drunk when he did it. They partied together forgetting about their disputes and it felt like they were becoming friends. Because Korvo couldn’t take his alcohol, he could barely stand on his own two feet, and Terry was the one to bring him home. Korvo decided against him doing that, but Terry didn’t listen. He was just as stubborn too. 

The process of walking while being drunk out of their minds was so difficult, yet so silly. Korvo couldn’t stop laughing at his own idiocy, how his legs wouldn’t listen to the commands of his mind. They must’ve looked like idiots to the strangers walking by. While Terry could barely hold his own weight, he still tried to help Korvo get to his apartment. They would make frequent stops because Korvo would feel the liquor attacking his inside and he would nearly vomit, but didn't. “Why did I agree to this?” He would say his thoughts out loud.

“C’mon, i-it’s not that far.” Terry tried to convince himself that their apartments are closer than he thought. 

The memory was fuzzy from there. Terry thinks that he probably tripped and hit his head against something which is why he doesn’t remember. He wanted to think that he and Korvo kissed that night.

The next morning, Terry woke up on Korvo’s couch with a hangover and he was an hour late for work. The moment he sat up, he saw Korvo in the doorway to his room, still in the same attire as last night and he’s holding onto the wall. “What the FUCK are you doing in my apartment?” Morning Korvo was a grouch. 

“Hey, for all I know, you could’ve dragged me here last night.” Terry argued, his own voice giving him a migraine. 

“Why would I do that? I don’t even like you.” Korvo hissed back, then he noticed the time on the wall. “Dammit.” 

Terry looked in the same direction and realized that they were both late for work. Terry rushed out of Korvo’s apartment and went back into his. There wasn’t enough time for a shower, so he grabbed some new clothes, got in his car and went to work. Both he and Korvo got there at the same time, despite just seeing each other earlier. Terry had changed his clothes in the first floor bathroom, but his tie wasn’t tied and his buttons were mismatched. Korvo looked more tidier than Terry, except he didn’t show up with a jacket or a tie. They ignored each other to save time to get to their workspace and their boss was there. He scolded them for being an hour late. 

Korvo wanted to say it was Terry’s fault, but decided to hold his tongue for fear of making his boss angier. And so they worked. The hangover still lingered, making both men irritated at the slightest sounds. For most of the day, there were no words, no insults, no death stares. It was a miracle. Because of the missed work, Korvo stressed himself to the point where he stayed and worked over night. Terry didn’t leave either. He was just catching up with the work he missed. After an hour passed closing time, Terry left for the breakroom for more coffee, he just needed to do one more thing and he would be all set. When he returned, he found Korvo asleep at his desk, a pen still in hand while he was scribbling nonsense onto the paper. The hangover, combined with the stressing and the lack of energy in his system made the man drop. 

The ticking of the clock along with Korvo’s soft breathing accompanied Terry while he finished the last of his portion of the work. When he was done, he noticed that Korvo had a lot more work to do than him. He wondered if all this time, the reason Korvo was so mad at Terry was because their boss handed Korvo more of the work while Terry got less of it. Korvo was the genius after all. Terry thought it was unfair that their boss treated Korvo like this, putting all the stress onto him to get things done because he had the potential for it. Instead of going home, Terry separated the stack of papers in half and did half of Korvo’s portion. If he’s wrong, Korvo could just fact check him instead of starting from scratch. 

Before work started, Korvo woke up to find a spare jacket over him and a scribble on his desk that said, “you’re welcome, Loser,” written in blue ink. Terry writes in blue ink. Korvo rubbed the sleep from his eyes and found the finished work in the finished pile and the unfinished stacks of paper to be smaller than he last saw it. Terry liked to think Korvo was swooning over him after he did this kind gesture, but that wasn’t the case. 

When Terry showed up for work, Korvo was nicer, but he wasn’t swooning. The insults were less frequent and he even said ‘thank you’ to Terry when he passed him the folders of paperwork. For the most part, everything was peaceful between them. By the end of the day, Terry noticed that Korvo wasn’t getting ready to leave, and he saw the bags forming under his eyes. Just because he slept in the office, doesn’t mean he’s well-rested. “You should go home.” Terry suggested.

“No.” 

“Look, I get that you care a lot about your work, but you can’t kill yourself over it. You need to sleep.” 

For a moment, it looked like Korvo considered taking Terry's advice, but he turned cold again. “I have to get this done.” 

Terry groaned loudly and obnoxiously to Korvo’s dismay. “You’re so stubborn. Do I have to force you out of here?”

“We’ve already established that I am not stubborn. Ambitious, remember?”

Terry rubbed his temples with his fingers. His bruises had just healed from his fight with Korvo the other day and it seems like they’ll be returning shortly. He slammed his hand on top of the perfectly stacked papers. “I don’t know why I even bother with you.” 

“Is that all you wanted to say? Can you leave me alone now?” Korvo shoots an annoyed glance at Terry. 

“You know for a moment, I actually pitied you. And I was right to! You’re nothing without your job.” 

Korvo was silent, his eyes read no emotion, his face made no crack. “What do you know about me?” 

Nothing. Terry knew nothing about Korvo. All of his thoughts about him were just his perception of the man. Korvo didn’t live by Terry’s standards, he lived his life as himself. Everyone else just assumes things about him, like it always has been. 

Korvo simply gets up from his seat, snatches the stack of paperwork from Terry and leaves. Out of all of their fights, this one felt real because someone was actually hurt. Terry went home that night, flipping over channels of shows that sparked no interests to him. He couldn’t stop thinking why he felt bad about saying that to Korvo. The only thing to do was make things right and apologize to him. 

He had expected to see Korvo in his seat early in the morning, with a cup of coffee that looked like milk with how much sweeteners he’d pour in it. But Korvo wasn’t at work. This was unlike him. Truth be told, Terry was worried. He figured he shouldn’t care because it’s Korvo, he’s a genius and he’s smart enough to get himself out of any situation, even if it’s a car accident or an explosion, or anything bad that Terry could think of. His boss had interrupted his train of thought by telling him to check on Korvo. The boss was obviously too reliant on him. Regardless of his reluctance, he followed the orders. 

Now, he was standing in front of Korvo’s door, hesitant to knock. Terry couldn’t believe his boss actually meant it. He had to cut his work short for Korvo’s incompetence to arrive at his job. He sucks up all of his courage and knocks on the door.

No answer. 

Terry knocks again and is met with silence. He thought that maybe Korvo was actually dead inside his apartment and that it was all Terry’s fault for saying those things to him when he could’ve just been nicer about it. A few seconds after, he hears footsteps followed by murmurs and curses. The door swings open and it’s Korvo, still in his work clothes and the bags under his eyes are darker. “What do you want?” His voice was slower, tired and croaky.

“The boss wanted me to check on you… were you up all night again?”

Korvo doesn’t answer and closes the door in Terry’s face. He opens it again and hands Terry the paperwork. “Give this to… to… to the guy.” Just when Korvo was about to close the door on Terry again, he stuck a foot in the door. “Stop, I gotta change.”

Terry lets himself in and shuts the door behind him. “You need a break.” 

“I don’t need anything!” Korvo snaps back. “I need to finish the project.” He heads off to his room. In a normal situation, Korvo would’ve kicked Terry out by now but he was too exhausted to even bother. 

When Korvo disappeared into his room, Terry looked around for something hard to whack him on the head with. He proceeded to hide somewhere Korvo couldn’t see and bopped him over the head. It was enough force to knock him out. He felt like a serial killer when he carried Korvo’s body into his bedroom. Terry searched around the apartment for some rope and eventually found some. Long story short, Terry tied Korvo to the bed to force him to not get into work. He could make up some lie about Korvo feeling sick and stayed home or that he died, or something convincing. The boss didn’t need him to be there. Terry left, locking the bedroom door and locking Korvo’s front door. He left thinking that Korvo would understand why he did what he did. 

Unfortunately, Korvo had woken up the next day, well-rested but pissed off. He had no memory of doing the paperwork and of Terry entering his home, but he does know that Terry knows where he lives. Out of sheer rage, Korvo nearly ripped his hand from the rope and freed himself. When he got to work, he practically chased Terry around the building, playing some form of fucked up hide-and-seek with him. 

Eventually, he had Terry cornered as he seethed with rage. “K-Korvo, we can talk about this.” Terry uttered, backing up into a wall.

“I don’t want to hear anything from you! Every since you showed up all you’ve been was a nuisance and you tied me to my FUCKING BED!” Korvo spews.

“I was just trying to be nice.” Terry argued. 

“I don’t need your kindness. I don’t need your pity, and I don’t need you!” Korvo poked at Terry’s chest with every ‘I’ he huffed.

Terry smacked Korvo’s hand away. “I don’t care about your needs, Korvo. I care about this project. All you’ve been doing was overwork yourself to the point where you can’t even keep your eyes open. The paperwork you gave me yesterday was all wrong.” He says. “I spent all day fixing every mistake you’ve made because you’re too stubborn to fucking sleep! So, I’m sorry I tied you to your bed. Your ‘ambition’ is causing discrepancies, and I’m _not_ going to allow that.” 

Part of his statement was true. Terry did care about the project and Korvo was getting in the way of finding anything more about the portal. The only thing Terry lied about was not caring about Korvo’s needs. He does care, but Korvo was the one who didn’t care about himself. Terry didn’t know this argument between them caused Korvo to respect him in a sense, because now Korvo knew how much the project meant to Terry. They both finally had something in common. 

Korvo returned to his seat and found that much of his work along with Terry’s were done. He fact checked everything to see if it was correct and it was. Perhaps Korvo had underestimated him too much. It wasn’t the fact that Terry wasn’t good enough that made Korvo so hard on him and even disliked him. It was because Terry was effortlessly smart and that made Korvo jealous. Terry could’ve been the head of S.H.I.T, but chose not to. Much like Korvo, Terry didn’t choose something he wasn’t happy doing, making useless shit for people that don’t need it simply to make quick cash. Much like Korvo, Terry lived his life with a possible ‘could’ve been’ within his grasp but never taking it. Terry could’ve been a doctor, a real scientist, a possible god, but he chose not to, just like Korvo. He wondered why. Why did Terry waste so much potential on ideas and theories that might never be proven? Why did Korvo waste his own potential? 

They spent years together, constantly at each other’s throats, disagreeing and bickering like felines and canines, or two things that will never mix like warm and cool colors. In a way, they became friends, silently caring for the other but never telling them in person how they felt. Terry soon waited for Korvo before they would leave for home. Korvo would sometimes hold the door open for Terry, and occasionally, when Terry got under his skin, had the door shut in his face. It was this back and forth where they began to unknowingly care. They never hung out, besides that time they shared a victory together with a few drinks. Terry wondered why, but quickly realized it when Korvo would suddenly make a remark that made all sparks of interest die down. They both lived their lives of a possibility of doing something but never actually doing it, whether it was finding a second to first best job or simply keeping quiet about how they really feel because they both think they don’t deserve it.

That’s not when they started to catch romantic feelings. For Terry, he started to see Korvo differently when they were having one of their arguments and Korvo did something out of character, he was being vulnerable, as if the walls he made up were slowly being torn down by Terry’s incentive pestering. It was weird to Terry, to think that a block like Korvo actually had emotions. Terry doesn’t remember what he had said to him, but his eyes looked like he was in pain. They had many moments together, usually from their bantering, but this one was emotional in the most subtle way possible. 

Korvo didn’t answer him. In fact, he spent the next few days quiet, not picking fights with Terry, which started to concern him. Korvo was only okay when he was yelling at Terry about some bullshit about the portal, math or being lame. Instead of apologizing, Terry forced Korvo to go out to get drinks with him. Because Korvo was faking his politeness with Terry, he simply agrees. They ordered drinks but didn't drink. It was awkward. Korvo kept staring at the liquids in the cup while the movement of the melting ice made it dance. 

“Okay, dude. What’s up?” Terry spoke first. “You’ve been ignoring me for weeks.” 

Korvo wasn’t ignoring him. He just wasn’t picking fights or arguing back. He hastily picks up his cup and downs the liquid and asks for another. 

“I can’t help you if you’re still ignoring me.”

“I don’t need your help.”

“I don’t care about what you need.” Terry says. 

“Then why are you trying to ‘help me’?” Korvo asked, taking the cup the bartender refilled and drank it down. He asks for another cup then attempts to drink it but Terry grabs onto his arm, halting him from his sip.

“Stop. You can’t handle your liquor.” He says, remembering that Korvo wasn’t much of a drinker. 

“Make me.” Korvo flinches away from Terry and makes another swallow for the liquor. 

“If this is about the other day, I’m sorry, okay?” He tells Korvo as an attempt to stop him from drinking.

“Fuck your sorry.” Korvo ordered another drink, imbibing it down immediately. The dizziness was already taking over him. “And fuck you.” 

Terry stayed silent while he watched Korvo drown himself in alcohol. He sighs and drinks too. They eventually got drunk together, Korvo was still bitter towards him. Terry wasn’t as drunk as he wanted to be because Korvo was way more wasted than him and somebody had to be the one able to walk. Terry ended up taking Korvo home, holding him up as he walked to their apartment. Korvo complained to Terry the whole time, telling him ‘fuck off’, ‘I hate you’, ‘go away’, and ‘you’re right.’ 

Korvo had pushed Terry a bit too hard and they both lost their footing on the ground. Korvo fell landing on top of him. He rested his face on Terry’s chest, still too dumb to think about what just happened. He whispered, ‘you’re right, I can’t be loved.’ Terry didn’t know why, but his heart began beating a mile a minute as he stared up into the stars with Korvo on his chest and his back on the cold concrete. His face grew warmer as he remembered what their fight was about, the one that made Korvo so upset. Terry asked if Korvo liked him because he kept picking fights with him. It was the stereotypical, if they-abuse-me-they-like-me trope. Terry wasn’t being serious, but Korvo took it seriously. Korvo never answered. In turn, Terry proceeded to make fun of Korvo, saying, “as if I’d feel that way about you, you’re hard to love.” And Terry was right, Korvo _was_ hard to love. He would know because the man he loves was passed out drunk on his chest. He didn’t want Korvo to know that he liked him because it would ruin their routine together, and as much as Terry disliked a routine, Korvo made it grow on him. It would’ve been easier to just be colleagues than to be more than that because being more and having more meant that they could easily lose it.

The air grew colder as Korvo found warmth with his arms around Terry. He blushed. The man was supposed to be a serious, scary dude, but he’s on top of Terry, cuddling him like a teddy bear. Terry thought it was cute, but very inappropriate for where they were. He sat up, taking Korvo with him. Terry got up, pulling Korvo off the ground. “Leave me alone.” the blue shlorpian mumbles. 

“Shut up, Korvo.” Terry would say, then carried him back to his apartment. 

The next few years became weird for Terry. He’d get butterflies from Korvo’s insulting remarks, even though he saw past them. Sometimes, he notices that Korvo would, in some way, flirt with him. The remarks were subtly sexual and Terry would say something back in regards. This went back and forth, until the fighting became literal again. They’d argue then fight, and in the middle of those late night fights in the office when everyone’s gone home, would result in a kiss or two. 

When it first happened, Korvo was just as shocked as Terry. He was gonna apologize, playing it off as, ‘you were too close’, but Terry pulled him in for another kiss and Korvo didn’t pull away. What shocked Terry more about their kiss was Korvo’s submission towards him. They reluctantly pulled away to gather their thoughts for a moment, lips still burning from their encounter. “My face hurts because of you.” Terry says, referring to Korvo punching him in the face earlier.

“Diddo.” Korvo replies, still hazy from their very short makeout session.

Terry smiled, amused by Korvo’s choice in vocabulary. “Diddo?” 

He pushed Terry’s face away from his, flushed in the face for his accidental slip up. “Shut up!”

The other alien laughed, making Korvo suppress a smile. “You’re so lame.” He teased, lightening up the mood. 

It became quiet again. They didn’t know what else to say. Terry wanted to continue but he didn’t want to push any boundaries. Korvo thought it was wrong for them to engage in such activities in the workplace. The safest thing to do to avoid another accidental slip up was to go home. “I- uh- we should go.” Korvo got up from the floor, averting his eyes from Terry. 

“Y-yeah.” They kept their eyes to themselves while they packed their things and went home. 

It wasn’t until they were at the front entrance to their apartments that they finally looked back at each other, but by then, it was too late. 

They spent a couple months, awkwardly trying to rekindle their hatred for each other, by coming up with anything to put the other down. Terry would put salt in Korvo’s coffee while he wasn’t looking and Korvo would trip Terry whenever he was coming back to his desk, especially holding a cup of liquid caffeine. These were little tricks that were, for the most part, harmless. None of them decided to do something big, like trash the other’s car or sabotaged work. It was a strange start to their confusing relationship. There would be moments where Terry wanted to drop everything and kiss Korvo, and Korvo would spend his break time daydreaming about Terry. The fifteen minutes would pass and Korvo was still stirring the cup of coffee. 

It was a dangerous game for both of the men to have their breaks at the same time. Korvo had to pretend Terry wasn’t there behind him, watching him, and he had to pretend he didn’t want him. Terry couldn’t stop himself from taking quick glances at Korvo, and what’s worse was that, Korvo wouldn’t look at him back. That was probably a good thing. Terry wouldn’t be able to help himself if Korvo looked at him, but still, he wanted Korvo to look at him. 

They’d return to their respective seats and go to work. Korvo doesn’t stay overnight as often. When the clock strikes 9, he quickly gathers his belongings and bids Terry a ‘goodnight,’ avoiding eye contact while he does so. It wasn’t until one night, Korvo didn’t leave the building, nor did Terry. They weren’t in the office either. They were busy in the breakroom, making out on the table. Terry was on the table while Korvo was in between his legs, caressing him and scratching at him. It started with a small dispute between them. Terry called Korvo ‘short’, and Korvo rebutted by grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and kissed him. The kissing was rough, aggressive and needy, bumping into the furniture as they pulled on each other, but it soon became soft and caring. It was a foreign feeling for either of the aliens. All they’ve known from each other was pain.

“I hate you.” Korvo utters on Terry’s lips. 

Terry would say it back, pulling Korvo in again. 

It started off from there. They weren’t friends or lovers because you wouldn’t hate your friend or your lover. They were something. 

During work, they would spend their break together in a supply closet, making out until the time was up. Sometimes Terry would go over to Korvo's workspace just to be closer to him, while looking over the paperwork that he’s done. They’d hold hands under the desk while Korvo tries to explain his reasoning for what he did. Despite Terry disagreeing with Korvo on his ideas, he really did like when Korvo spoke. He was passionate about what he did, but being up close to him, he really saw the spark in his eyes. Terry didn’t realize he was moving his face closer to Korvo until he grabbed onto it. “What are you doing?” Korvo asked. 

“I couldn’t hear you very well.” Terry excused. 

“Get back to your seat, dumbass.” Korvo demanded, but he hesitated letting go of Terry’s hand when he left. 

Later in the day, Korvo comes back from the break room and passes Terry a note that said, “My place, 10 o’clock.”

“You could’ve just told me this. What are we, in high school?” Although Terry mocked him, he was actually very excited. After six years of their budding relationship, they’re finally going to have sex. Korvo always came up with excuses for not making love. ‘It’s the workplace’, ‘I don’t want to get caught’, ‘We’re going to be fired,’ ‘It should be in a bed.’ Now Terry got to do the things he promised Korvo he would do. 

He did what Korvo said. He showed up to his place, exactly at 10. Korvo invited him inside and they had dinner together. Terry realized this was their first real date in the six years they started making out with each other. In those six years, Terry learned a lot about Korvo. He was always pressured to be the best and nobody ever asked what he wanted to do. Everybody expected him to work up in space with a separate federation from Shlorp but Korvo declined it. He stayed and worked on what he really enjoyed, theoretical science. But still, Korvo was being pressured because he had to keep being the best, especially since this portal showed up. “Everyone is counting on me,” He would say. Terry always knew that Korvo was under some sort of pressure, but nothing of this grand scale. He tried to comfort his partner, saying that everyone else didn’t matter.

Another thing about Korvo was why he was such a compulsive person. Being raised under a faction where they valued the smart and shunned the less intelligent, they forced Korvo to think a certain way. Any imperfection was considered a failure, and they would get struck. Growing up, Korvo had a tough time being organized. He was more of a right-brained person, creative, subjective. But the faction forced him to think logically, avoid feelings, and to be objective. When Korvo organized color, he’d do it ranging from the brightest to the darkest, then he would be shunned. They told him to organize it based on the alphabet. It made no sense to him but he would do it to avoid getting hit. Terry thought Korvo’s life was sad, having to live through other’s expectations. This was something Terry judged him for and he admitted it to him. And Korvo admitted that he was jealous of Terry for being freer than him. 

It was true because Terry wasn’t raised like Korvo. He was in a loving faction, where they let the younglings explore what they wanted. It lacked structure and order. It was too much freedom that it felt like Terry never really had it. 

On their date, after the dinner, they went into the bedroom where they started off slow and Terry noticed how shaky Korvo was. That’s when he realized Korvo was a virgin. “So, what? Stop laughing!” Korvo demanded, balling his fist as Terry continued to mock him and laugh. 

“I can’t believe this! Why am I not surprised?” Terry choked on his laugher, howling into the bedroom.

“If it’s so funny to you, then we won’t have sex then.” Korvo crossed his arms, pouting slightly.

“No- hey, wait a minute- let’s talk about this.” He brought his hands up to Korvo’s shoulders, turning him so they made eye contact. 

“We have nothing to talk about. I’m not having sex with you.” 

Well, Terry couldn’t force Korvo into anything he didn’t want to do. “Okay,” Terry says.

“Okay?” He sounded displeased. “You’re not gonna talk me out of it?”

“I can’t force you into doing something you don’t wanna do.” He smiles at him, knowing Korvo wants it just as much as he does. 

“Let’s talk about this-”

“Oh, would you look at the time? It’s getting late, and I have work tomorrow.” Terry comes over and plants a kiss on Korvo’s lips. “Goodnight.” There was mischief in his voice. And he was gone.

At work, Terry didn’t sneak kisses during their breaks. Korvo would try to be intimate with Terry but he would simply brush him aside and continue with his work. For the most part of this charade, Terry wouldn’t touch Korvo at all. Korvo thought that this must be some kind of punishment for not wanting to have sex with Terry because he made fun of him. It was. Terry would give Korvo ‘the look’, which made him flustered, thinking he would finally touch him again, but he doesn't.

This teasing went on for months. It frustrated Korvo to the point where he masturbated to the thought of Terry finally making love to him. The night was cold and lonely.

They were in the break room together. Usually, they’d engage in some quick snogging but that didn’t happen. At one point, Korvo thought that Terry was breaking up with him. “I’d never do that.” He says, still giving Korvo those eyes. While Korvo prepared his coffee, he heard Terry step closer behind him, then he saw his arm reaching from behind to grab a sugar pack. He felt Terry’s other arm gently grabbing onto his side and then his head rested on Korvo’s shoulder. Korvo could smell the familiar cologne as he melted into the touch. If it weren’t for the door swinging open, Terry would’ve kissed Korvo on the neck. Terry quickly releases Korvo and turns towards the door, acting as if he wasn’t just missing his presence. He sighs from Terry’s absence.

They’d go back to their desks and continue to work. By the end of the day, Korvo grabbed onto Terry’s hand, stopping him from leaving. “I’m sorry for not wanting to have sex with you.”

“Korvo, I don’t want an apology.”

“Then what do you _want_?” He was desperate. “Is your plan to not touch me?”

“Was that not clear from the first day?” Terry smirked. “First of all, I wanted to see how long you’d hold out. Didn’t think you’d wait months to finally confront me.” 

“You know I don’t like confrontation.” 

“You did it all the time though. Do I have to remind you what you did to my cars?” Terry raised a brow. 

“That was different.”

“What was different?” 

“I don’t hate you… as much.” Korvo eyed the floor for comfort, his face was burning. He never actually confessed his feelings for Terry, it just happened. “Is that bad?”

He closed the distance between him and Korvo, wrapping an arm around his waist and pressing his forehead on his temple. “No, it’s not bad. I prefer this.” His face was hot as he held Korvo in his arms. 

Korvo filled the space between his lips and Terry’s. 

“Wanna come to my place?” Terry asked, his lips still on Korvo’s.

The blue alien pulled away. “We’re not having sex at your place.” 

“I cleaned up, I swear.” 

They ended up going to Terry’s place. It was cleaned like he promised, but Korvo found every insecurity and pointed it out. It was to hide the fact that he was nervous. Terry’s sheets were cleaned and all the paintings he bought from a homeless artist were hung on the walls. The floors were spotless, which Korvo gave him credit for. It was almost perfect. Korvo suggested they have a few drinks before they initiate the intercourse. 

“You wanna get drunk on your first time?” Terry raised a brow, slightly disapproving of Korvo’s decisions. 

“Why are you saying it like that? It's not a big deal.” He huffed, then stomped into Terry’s room. 

They got to the room, started it off with the kissing, the touching, something that Korvo missed from Terry because he was always so gentle with his hands. It explains why his punches barely hurt. Terry tried his best not to scare Korvo by caressing him and constantly assuring him even when he doesn’t need it. He trailed kisses like breadcrumbs, slowly stripping away at Korvo’s clothing, leaving them beside him on the bed. Korvo took a seat on the cushion as the weight of Terry’s kisses pushed him down, until he was laying on his back.Terry got on his knees as Korvo panicked, stopping him.

“M-maybe this _is_ a big deal.” He says.

“Do you want me to stop?” Terry flickered his eyes up at Korvo

“N-no!” 

With that, he continued to kiss Korvo’s inner thigh, teasing his touches to the sex. Korvo’s breathing became heavier, anticipating what he was going to do next. Terry had licked, sucked, and did everything his mouth could do to Korvo’s genitalia while he teased the entrance to the hole. He was rewarded with the unheard sounds of Korvo’s moans. He had wondered before what they sounded like. Now he had his answer. Terry moved his fingers forward and back, continuing in that motion while Korvo bucked his hips for him to go further. Soon, Korvo’s sounds grew louder and needier while Terry used his mouth and fingers to pleasure him. Korvo came, holding onto Terry’s free hand, squeezing it as he did so. 

Korvo’s body went limp, his breath forcing his chest to rise and fall. He expected there to be more but Terry just sits beside him, smiling at his satisfied partner. “T-that’s it?” Korvo asked, his body still hot. 

“Yup.” 

“I thought we were going to have sex.” A blush rises to his face, expecting to engage in a love making session.

“You’re clearly still nervous.” Terry says, as-a-matter-of-fact. 

“No, I’m not.”

“I was down there, dude and you were tense.” He says. “We don’t have to rush things.” 

“So, you just brought me to your place just to suck me off?” Korvo slipped back into his clothes. 

“Pretty much.” A dopey smile crept on his face. “You can stay the night if you’d like.” 

He planted a kiss on Korvo’s forehead, then got up. “W-wait, you’re not staying?” 

Terry turned, giving Korvo a look with his soft eyes. “You wanna share a bed with me?” 

"I want to… sleep with you." The words made his pulse beat against his flesh. He knew what the other insinuation meant and he wanted to take that chance.

"You know what they say about two people sleeping together? Nothing, because that's usually just pillowtalk." 

"Is that a yes?" Korvo's face was bluer. 

"Yeah." In actuality, Terry was nervous. He tried to play it cool to make Korvo comfortable. Someone had to make it seem they knew what they were doing. 

He had given Korvo an extra sleepwear and it looked cute on him. Terry liked wearing things bigger than him and it was also big on Korvo. They laid together in the dark as the light from outside lingered on the walls of his room. Korvo turned faced away from Terry. He went in for a snuggle, pressing himself to Korvo's back as he held him. Terry could tell Korvo was still awake by the sound of his breathing. It was calculated and it had less rhythm to it. He was going to let go until Korvo turned around to face him. Luckily it was so dark that Korvo couldn't see how flustered he was. His arm was still around Korvo's waist. He didn't pull him closer knowing what would happen if he did. So, Korvo was the first to act, closing the gap between them. 

Terry made no efforts to stop him because he wanted it too. The feeling of Korvo's body made it easier to calm his nerves. It began to feel natural. Korvo's leg found its way around Terry's waist, pulling him in as he grinded against him. It excited the green alien with how forward Korvo was being. Nimble hands unbuttoned the sleepwear, bringing their bare bodies closer. Soon, Korvo was on top of Terry, legs straddling him, pressing his clothes sex against him. "Korvo, you don't have to do this." Terry's lips were still on fire and so was his body. The bulge in his pants was rubbing against Korvo's wetness. 

His hands found a comfort spot on Korvo's hips, slowly feathering his touch down to his thighs. Korvo pulled his hips up for a moment making Terry sigh from the lack of heat and pressure on his groin. Korvo pulled out Terry's hardness and positioned himself accordingly. 

"Korvo…" He breathed as the tip teased the wet entrance. 

Then it went in. He heard Korvo's strangled moan as he felt him tense up again. Terry wanted to ask Korvo if he was okay, but he was lost in the warmth of the love cave. When Korvo started grinding on him slowly, Terry thought it was the sexiest thing he'd ever seen. The room was too dark to see anything which left room for imagination, and he imagined seeing Korvo in the light, his face flushed while he pleased himself on Terry. Soon, the grinding became more erratic and Terry also took the satisfaction to fuck Korvo from underneath, gripping his hips and meeting Korvo’s movements. 

Terry got up and flipped his lover on his back so that he was on top now. He felt Korvo’s cool breath on his skin as he held him in place and thrusted into him. They were at an awkward angle as the bed creaked combined with the sounds of their love-making. The moans and gasps drowned out the sounds of wet skin slapping together. Terry thought it was hot, like some found footage of pornography that had yet to see the light of day. Of course, Shlorp doesn’t need porn. If there was porn, it would be of two people who were killed because they made porn, and the tape would be either destroyed or lost. 

They felt themselves being consumed by the pleasure, and met their climaxes together. Usually first times aren’t the greatest, but for them it couldn’t have been more perfect. They cuddled each other's sweat drenched body as the air in the room began to grow cooler. “I’m so glad my first time is with you.” Terry says.

Korvo was still in a haze, going along with what Terry said. When it finally processed in his head, “your first time!” he sat up. “You lied to me and you made fun of me!”

“Technically, I didn’t lie. I just didn’t tell you the truth.” Terry shrugged. “C’mere, I want cuddles.”

“No- no cuddles for you.” Korvo crosses his arms. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Why didn’t he tell Korvo? Right. He’s completely smitten by the guy and wanted to make an impression. His face burned up with the thought. “I… I wanted you to think I was… cool. And- And you would’ve made fun of me too and neither of us would’ve gotten any.”

Korvo's eyes soften as he gave Terry a smooch on the lips. “You’re probably right. I would’ve made fun of you.”

“Plus, it would’ve been easier if you didn’t know that we both didn’t know what we’re doing.” 

Thus begun their sex lives. It was wild and spontaneous, and Korvo broke the one rule he promised himself. Never have intercourse in the building. They did it, several times in about 90 different places in the whole building. It felt like they were in college again, and instead of spending time trying to be the best and working towards their future, they spent their life kissing, breathing and living for the first time. It was like a garden to them. 

Terry was the first one to say the magic words. They were in Korvo’s apartment, overlooking the stars and having a few drinks together. At that moment when he saw Korvo smile up at the stars he saw someone he never wanted to let go of, someone who would be his partner, someone who could easily disagree with him and tell him that he’s wrong without hesitation, someone who challenged him, someone he could love forever. He saw Korvo. Without thinking, he spilled the beans, “I love you.”

Every ‘I’ would end with ‘hate you’, and Korvo was used to that. It was their code word for the opposite even though both of them never admitted to it, but to actually say the true meaning of ‘I hate you,’ was refreshing. It wasn’t a secret they kept to themselves anymore. It wasn’t a ‘could’ve been’. This was real and it was in front of Korvo. He responded with a kiss, followed by an “I love you.”

They had waited a good 42 years after being together to finally become lifemates. Because of work and their life together always being busy, they never made it official. They filed for marriage and happily signed their life to be forever bound together. Their life wasn’t much different after their marriage. They still did the same things, worked at the same place, would sleep over each other’s houses, have sex at work, bickered at work. It was all fine and dandy. Terry couldn’t have been more happier, but Korvo, he had a thirst that still couldn’t be quenched. It was the portal. They had looked at it from every angle and there still wasn’t much about it. It frustrated him. Terry suggested they go on vacation together and spend some time alone and away from all this. “You know we don’t take vacations.” Korvo would reply.

Recently, they had tested something out with the portal. They’d tie a rope to an object and toss it into the portal. It would come back out unscathed. When it came to organic matter, it came out covered in black slime. Upon testing the black slime, it was harmless and acted as lubricant of some kind. Some scientists thought the portal was a mouth. They threw a radio inside to see if there would be some kind of signal and there was. They thought it would be some kind of wormhole to another plane or possibly another alien planet. They were wrong. Terry had found that this portal came from another universe separate to theirs. It sounded impossible, even Korvo thought it was a dumb idea, but when he looked at the evidence, the backwards math, the dark matter. It kind of made sense that the portal to another universe would be in between the lines, much like this portal. If this was true, they needed to know what the other universe wanted. 

Korvo had volunteered himself to pass through the portal. Everyone was against him going, except for the officials who were just as curious to know what was through the portal. Terry thought they just wanted to make money out of it and use Korvo as bait. 

When Korvo decided to go into the portal for science, he and Terry argued. It wasn’t like their little fights. This one was threatening their lifemateship. Terry yelled at Korvo, told him every reason why he shouldn’t go into the portal, even made up some nonsense about it. Korvo would shut him down with a “you can’t talk me out of this.”

Their argument became physical. Terry tackled Korvo to the floor, he figured he could literally beat some sense into his lifemate. Korvo wouldn’t hit back this time or struggle away from Terry. He just laid there staring up at his beautiful lifemate. The balls of tears seeped out of Terry’s eyes as he sobbed into Korvo’s chest. “Don’t do this, Korvo. I don’t wanna lose you. I love you so much. I wouldn’t be able to live without you.” His voice broke, muffled into the fabric of Korvo’s shirt as he confessed his feelings. “Don’t do this. I’ll never see you again.”

Korvo trembled underneath him, tearing up as the sobs and pleas of his lover broke his heart. 

Terry pushed himself up, his face was blue, eyes all puffed up. “I-if you go, I’m- I’m leaving you. I swear, Korvo, I- I will do it.” 

He answered by pulling him into a hug. Terry knew what that meant. 

The next week, Korvo had signed the papers for the divorce. Terry hated this. He hated the portal, he hated science, he hated Korvo. He didn’t hate Korvo, he hated how much he loved him. This was the last ditch effort to get him to stop him from going and _it didn’t work_. 

Despite their divorce, Korvo still kissed him the same. “We’re divorced, Korvo.” Terry would say, hoping to get him to stop because the kisses and gentle caress only made him dismal. 

“That doesn’t stop me from loving you.” Korvo would say back. And Terry would give in, giving himself to Korvo once again. 

S.H.I.T had made Korvo go through some training. It was very similar to space training and Terry hated every minute of it. Because Terry was second in command, he was the one to instruct what would happen and when they would happen. Every time they had gone for a break, Terry still tried to convince Korvo to change his mind. Korvo would ignore Terry’s attempts and showered him in affection. 

“That’s not gonna work.” Terry snapped at Korvo. He slammed the glass cup down and it broke, cutting his hand. There were tears in his eyes, not from the cut, but because Korvo tended to his wound and cared for him. It pulled on his heart and it hurt him to be mean to Korvo, but he gave him no choice. “I hate you.” Terry lets out a shaky breath. 

Korvo planted kisses to where his tears were. “I love you.”

Two days before Korvo leaves, he planned to take Terry out on a date. Terry was reluctant because he still thinks he could change Korvo’s mind by being harsh towards him. 

“Don’t you want to at least spend one more day with me?” He asks. 

“No, I want to spend forever with you. Because you’re being such a dick, I won’t get that privilege.” Terry hissed back. 

Korvo doesn’t say anything. He just has that look in his eyes that Terry knew all too well that he had hurt his feelings. He doesn’t leave Terry’s front door. Instead, Terry invites him in. They do mostly nothing, besides sit on a couch and snuggle up together. It was hard doing anything exciting when Korvo was about to leave into the unknown, and he knew that Terry wouldn’t fully enjoy himself at a fancy restaurant when all he had on his mind was losing Korvo. 

They had a few drinks and stargazed at the balcony. They didn’t say much. After being together for 120 years, they knew when it was time to engage in sinful activity.

Terry rests his head on the cushions of the bed as his mind filled with muted sorrows. “Don’t go, Korvy.” His voice was small as he held Korvo close to him, unwilling to let him go. “Don’t leave me.”

Korvo kissed him, did everything right by the book. He knew Terry too well and how to please him, how to make him happy. If only he could’ve made himself happy. If it weren’t for this mysterious portal, then he and Terry never would’ve met, they would’ve never hated each other or become rivals, they would’ve never fallen in love in the first place. That’s why Korvo needed to go into the portal. For Terry.

The next morning, Korvo woke up first. He had contemplated leaving his lover, then all of the research would be for nothing. He loved Terry. He would’ve done anything, but this was too important. 

They went into work. Korvo had compiled a series of questions just in case he made it back and somehow lost who he was. The tapes were supposed to be a reminder. There was one particular tape that Terry wouldn’t dare touch. It held too much emotion for him, and it was too private to keep in the office. It was stored away in the safekeeping of his apartment.

The day after was the launch. Korvo had to put on this suit and was attached by a string. A radio was built into the suit just in case. Terry didn’t want to see Korvo disappear into the portal, but he did and he didn’t blink. This became too much for him. As much as he wanted to stay and see what happened, he left. He ran into the supply closet that he and Korvo shared. Sinking to the floor, all of his emotions came all at once. His throat stung from holding back his tears, his hands shook and he couldn’t think. He held his head, hyperventilating as he kicked at the floor. Terry had banged the back of his head against the wall behind him while he broke down, crying and screaming. His chest hurt, his heart hurt along with his stomach. He curled into a fetal position, holding himself while he grieved, wailing into the confined space of the supply closet.

When he returned, he looked as if he wasn’t just having a panic attack. When he returned, Korvo was still gone. They had heard something over the radio, it was very delicate, until they heard a loud gasp. They all panicked and pulled the rope, railing him back in. 

For the next few years after Korvo’s return, Terry was the one to take care of him along with some others. Korvo had lost his mind, the darkness had driven him to insanity. He couldn’t remember his own name, he couldn’t remember Terry and he would spew nonsensical things that fanatics of the religious arts would do. Terry wondered if Korvo found god in there.

Korvo was very aggressive, almost animalistic, and brutal at times. He had accidentally killed one of the staff with his hands and laughed in the faces of anyone who watched in horror. He had screamed, his voice scratching Terry’s ears, “STOP SCREAMING!” It didn’t just happen once. 

It scared Terry. He would perform tests on Korvo to try to fix him, but whatever he experienced there could not be fixed. Terry took note of Korvo’s memory. He’d lose his memory every five minutes. One minute he would be worshipping Terry, the next he would threaten to kill him and ‘feed his head to the Black King while he feasts on the pitiful scraps of his body and suck the soul from his veins’. It was oddly poetic. 

Many of the things Korvo says were oddly poetic in a fucked up way in Terry’s eyes. He’d say things like, “I’ll rip your eyeballs and feed them to the pigs I turned inside out”, or “You know what I’ve become… I’m the nightmare of this world, I taste the flesh… I smell the tears, AND I WANT MORE! Your blood will be the water I cleanse myself in. I’ll watch your face break as I break your bones and use them AS THE STARDUST ON MY MIRTHFUL PAINTING!” There were many more but those were the only ones that Terry liked. The others were too gory for his tastes. While in his cage, Korvo would rest his head against the glass of the containment, occasionally banging his head against it and catching Terry’s attention. Sometimes, he would pace around mumbling to himself and he would scream, “back in, back in, put me back in the pit! Her cries call for me, PUT ME BACK IN HER WOMB!” 

Korvo had gone through many sedations over the course of ten years. Terry thinks it was the cause of so much memory loss because he was always on drugs for him to keep calm. He didn’t like how it made Korvo sleep a lot. Korvo was alive when he was screaming nonsense to the point where his vocal cords would break and the doctors would have to put a muzzle on him to bring his voice back. Sometimes when Terry would be alone in the room with Korvo, while everyone else took their breaks, Korvo would sing. It was incoherent and terrible, but it was a familiar tune. It was the song they’d listen to together in Terry’s apartment. It was the only song that Korvo liked out of all the albums that Terry owned.

When the next day came, Terry brought the music player and played the song for Korvo. “By the gods, you are my savior!” He would say, which made Terry smile. 

In those ten years, Terry cried in his office until he could no longer cry. It broke his heart seeing Korvo like this. But Korvo got better. His memory lasted longer, he wasn’t as aggressive and didn’t threaten anyone as much. He soon became harmless but still broken. Terry noticed that Korvo would sometimes cower away from the scientists who would help him. His brain activity indicated that he had nightmares while he had night terrors.

He also hated the color white. Korvo would mumble that white was "the filth of the monster’s mouth, a train to hell.” 

So, when he had the doctors bring Korvo into his office, he hid the white lab jacket. He wondered if Korvo remembers him. He doubts that. Today, Terry was able to take care of Korvo himself, in his own home. It would be the first time going home in a long time.

“Pretty man, I’ll kill the gods for you!” Korvo’s voice was rough, like swallowing gravel. After years of constantly breaking his vocal cords, they seemed to be permanently damaged.

Terry smiled at the compliment. “Oh, Korvo, you always have such a way with words.”

* * *

It had been 70 years since Korvo was in Terry’s care. In those 70 years, Terry had to teach Korvo how to eat properly, how to bath and all the necessities to survive. He had no hope that Korvo would remember these things but he did. Terry had left his bedroom for Korvo to sleep in while he took the couch. It would’ve been inappropriate to sleep in the same bed when Korvo has no memory of Terry and their relationship. At night, Korvo would scream from his night terror and it would alert Terry as he tries to wake Korvo up. The night terrors were part of the reason Terry didn’t want to share a bed. 

Because Terry had decided to take care of Korvo, he had to work from home because he was too scared to leave him by himself. Korvo would somehow get himself in a situation and he’d make a noise of distress, which interrupts Terry with his work, then he would go help Korvo. At first, Terry thought it was a nuisance to keep treating this grown ass man like a baby, but it grew on him. Terry expected something bad to always happen and it did. Korvo would break things on accident, like that one time he broke the TV because a scary movie scared him, he went over and punched a hole through it. 

But when Korvo was asleep, he looked like himself, before he was changed by the portal. Terry found that Korvo’s night terrors happened less when he was around Korvo when he slept. So, they ended up sleeping in the same bed. Terry would stay up longer to do some work, which he would occasionally hear Korvo call his name in his sleep. It tugged on his heart that somewhere deep in Korvo’s brain, Terry still existed.

Terry had thought that maybe he would always be Korvo’s caregiver, not his lifemate. Korvo had shone, very ostentatiously, that he liked Terry. The compliments occurred every moment of everyday. It became very coherent from the first time he brought Korvo home. 

While Terry was cooking, he felt Korvo hug him from behind. Terry thought Korvo was finally going to kill him. Instead, Korvo just says, “I’m sorry.” His voice was small as he rested his face in Terry’s back. 

“Don’t be sorry.” A slight chuckle escaped his lips. 

* * *

Your name is Korvo. You remember that to be your name because the pretty man always calls you by that name. Much of your memory is gone. You don’t know of your past, but you do know one thing, the pretty green is always nice to you. Everytime he looks at you, the feeling in your stomach starts to flutter and you feel sick and happy. 

The pretty man is always on his devices while you wander and find new ways to gain his attention. This always backfires because you don’t know what these things are. You noticed how he always puts on a smile for you, but you can tell you’re a burden. As an act of apology, you went to look for those small boxes, the ones that contained music. You wandered everywhere until you finally found a box of them sitting on the floor of the closet.

You grabbed one and put it in the music box. 

The tape clicks. 

K: You might not remember, but your name is Korvo. 

This was your voice.

K: I’m doing this just in case I lose my mind in the void. I leave tomorrow and there's a lot I'm leaving behind. One of which is my- our lifemate, Terry. He’s the perfect shade of green and his mouth extends past his face. He’s our partner, for life. 

K: He did divorce me- us- though, because he cares about us. I’m scared to go, but someone has to. I know he’ll hate me after I come back, he’ll hate you. I hope he doesn’t. Terry hating us would be worse than dying in that void. 

K: I much prefer to die if Terry ever hated us for real. *Laughter*

K:...

K: Where was I?

K: Oh, your name is Korvo. Your favorite color is purple because you couldn’t decide whether blue or red looked better so you picked both. You’re smart and you have the best job in the world. You could’ve been anything but you decided to work at building that has the word shit on it. You met your lifemate at your job and you hated him for a long time, but grew to love him. Truth be told, you liked him when you spilled coffee on his jacket.

K: Then he opened his mouth and the feeling was gone. He’s also very smart, and nothing like you. That’s why you love him, why you still love him. 

K: He’s your best friend. Probably your only friend. You weren’t much of a talker in school, maybe because nobody bothered to talk to you. That’s what made you the best. 

K: I can’t believe I’m actually doing this. This would be the perfect way to end my story. It’s poetic, and Terry did say ambition would get me killed. 

K: If by some miracle, I do come out alive, tell Terry that I’m sorry. 

K:... Goodbye. 


End file.
